XIX

why?
she had asked herself once more,
why–
she had asked herself over and over again.
so people tell you how things happen for a reason,
but they don’t tell you that,
at some point in your life,
you wish some things never really happened,
you wish you had done some things otherwise,
you wish you were some place else,
you wish you had never met,
you wish you had never tried,
because what is the point anyway?
and then they don’t tell you too how to go about it,
only that,
what the heck,
things happen for a reason.
but that was what she had told her many friends too,
and that was what she said to herself now,
over and over and over again —
things happen for a reason,
if only that could make a difference,
if only that could change things,
if only that could make her feel any better,
if only that could make her understand.
things happen for a reason,
if only that could make goodbyes less wretched,
if only that could mend,
if only that could heal,
if only that could make things easier.
things happen for a reason —
if only that could make any sense at all.
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